Who is $trick9 and The Truth?

$trick9 and The Truth is the hottest gonzo hip-hop band around. ‘Nuff said. $trick9 busts out ill rhymes, Duke and Billbotics form the groove and Matty J makes it audacious. Straight out of the 515, $trick9 and The Truth share tales of the good life and debunk the torturous underbelly of society’s ills and lapses in judgement.

Here’s the straight dish on $trick9 and The Truth:

• These are the four best-looking individuals hip-hop has ever seen.
• $trick9 and The Truth have created the finest music ever.
• A $trick9 and The Truth show is the last show you’ll ever need to go to.
• $trick9 spits nothing but hot fire on the mic!

Is $trick9 really a neo-conservative rapper?

What are you hustlin’? Don’t be comin’ ’round here with no weak sauces!

Can I bookmark the yostrick9.com website?

Sure, you can do pretty much whatever you’d like at yostrick9.com. The website provides anything and everything you’d ever need from the World Wide Web.

When will $trick9 and The Truth be performing next?

Sign up for the newsletter and we’ll let you know. $trick9 and The Truth have been putting on some pretty cool shows, such as the DSM Winter Formal and the Spring Hootenanny. The big shows happen about once per quarter.

Additionally, you can catch Duke doing live stand-up daily wherever he’s pushing his grocery cart of worldly possessions.

What did you guys do before you were $trick9 and The Truth?

Well, back in the day, $trick9 lived and worked day in and day out, creating gourmet sub sandwiches for his own business called Tasty Indulgences and created a laundry list of special order gourmet sandwiches, such as the Big Outdoors which was a mix of game hen, sautéed veggies and special sauces on an onion seed hoagie and the Stockbroker, which was a 1/4 lb of turkey and mayo. Additionally, he played a lot of Minesweeper.

Matty J trained as a cage fighter in the backwoods of Kentucky, but as cage fighting didn’t catch on, he returned to Iowa to see his dream of perfecting a microbrew come to fruition.

Duke is a scholar. He has and continues to conduct illegitimate experiments for (what can only be assumed to be) his own pleasure. We’re fairly sure he’s working on exploratory research on UFOs.

Billbotics spent a number of years as a beard model for a Canadian talent agency. If you search hard enough, you’ll find some clips on the Internet of some of the commercials that he’s in modeling stuff with his beard.

Is Jonathan Swift a real person?

Yes. And he wrote a lengthy essay on something controversial. But at the time, he was horribly misunderstood and suffered from giddiness.

I thought I saw a video on the Internet where Duke was yelling about some radio station…was this a real thing?

Yeah, well kind of. There was a contest for a local radio station to create a 30 second TV commercial. Duke and Nine decided that it would be fun and set out to create a collection of commercials.

In one of the TV spots, Duke makes himself disappear using some old fashioned smoke and mirror techniques, but the folks who judged the commercials believed the hoax was witchcraft and eliminated them from the contest. Several of the commercials are still highly regarded as some of the best that have ever made it to the Internet.

There were also some rumors going around that Duke attempted to ride a moose during a show…is that for real?

Again, yes and no. Did Duke attempt to ride a moose at a live show? Yes. Were there some logistical issues with transporting the moose to the show? Yes. Will Duke attempt this feat again? Who knows. Right now he’s pre-occupied with velour jumpsuits and flame retardant sprays.

Matty J plays both keyboards and guitars; that is amazing. How does he do it?

Matty J is a musical genius, in the likes of Mozart, Bach and Burt Bacharach. He plays a mean guitar and a mean organ, err, uh…keyboard. Oh, and he typically switches between the two during shows, rarely playing simultaneously, which (as you can imagine) would require an extra set of arms and legs. We’re not totally sure what the extra set of legs would be for, but MJ assure us that he could use four legs.

How can I grow a beard like Billbotics?

Listen, geez…how many times do I have to tell you all about this? Neither $trick9 and The Truth nor anyone involved with this website condone the unnatural manipulation of facial hair. We just don’t have the science for it yet. Hold your horses. Hold ‘em!

But, I will tell you that I’ve seen Billbotics with a large zip lock bag filled with what appears to be some type of hand creme lotion, Pop Rocks, orris root powder, vervain and soy sauce. After blending it in a traditional food blender, he applies the concoction and bakes it into the hair follicles using a light therapy box to accelerate the process.

Don’t quote us on any of it, we were most likely overhydrated.

How did the Monday Jewel become so hot?

You microwave it for about 3 minutes. Anything in the microwave that long is burning up!

I kid, but not really. The Monday Jewel is a sensation because we create the jewels just for you. It takes a lot of time and research to find the subjects that are most important to you and to craft the message appropriately.

On occasion, the Monday Jewel may appear to be off-message, but that’s really just an attempt to target new audiences with well-crafted alpha-week programming and in that situation, you’re probably outside of the determined audience. Nothing against you, sometimes we try new things.

Can we make requests for songs at your shows?

Sure! Can I come by your workplace and tell you how to do your job? Speaking of jobs, don’t you have something else to do? Go read Duke’s blog.

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